"Brothers"
(AN: some names/pronouns/etc updated bc your author isn’t fucking transphobic) “Loret?” Their attackers had left them alone, by a combination of pity, respect, and fear of that glowing light in the eldest’s eye. Crow had let go of their hands, and Az had crawled over to his sister, quivering. She put a hand on his head, reassuring. “Yes?” “Is Crow really our brother?” Az was clutching Loret’s leg, but his eyes were on Crow. Loret smiled softly, and knelt down to her brother’s level. She took his hands, and gaze, and started to say, “Oh, no, Az, it’s not-” “Yes, I am.” Crow was suddenly behind them, imposing. Az blinked up at him. Loret’s head turned, and met the boy’s eyes for a long moment. He was hardset, stern. For a moment, so was Loret, and there was ire in the voice he heard in his head a moment later. We’ll discuss this later. Loret’s face was all smiles again when she turned. She scooped up Az, and brought them wordlessly into the shelter. ' ' That night, they found their way onto a merchant caravan, travelling back to the country-side. It wasn’t exactly the direction they needed to go, but it was close, and most importantly, it was away from the city. Crow wanted to explain the situation to the driver, hitch a consensual ride. Lored explained why that wasn’t an option, and when Crow challenged her to get onto a moving carriage without notice, she performed a yeeting-and-Knock-ing maneuver that even he couldn’t critique. Now they were in a moonlit half-full hay wagon, preparing for a long ride. Az, oblivious, had fallen asleep almost immediately; the poor kid had had a very long day. Loret and Crow rested uncomfortably against one side, watching him and the world pass by. “So.” Loret said eventually. “What was all that about blatantly lying to my brother?” Crow bristled immediately, half-turned away. He said, simply, “He would have blown it for us.” “Excuse me?” “Nature’s tits, Loret, he’s a toddler! You think he wouldn’t tell the truth to the first assassin who asked? Especially if they bear the insignia of his own goddamn family.” The coldness in the air was probably the night, and not the magical manifestation of Loret’s barely-obscured fury. “Don’t talk about him like that.” she spat. “He’s a smart kid.” “Even so, he’s way too young for any of this.” “So we should just lie to him?” “I don’t see any other option!” Crow bit back. “It’s your fault he’s even here at all.” No, that literally-glowing fire behind Loret’s eye was definitely magical, and not just the night. “Oh, I’m sorry.” she hiss-whispered. “I should have left him behind, where he could be murdered for who his parents are. That’s the smart thing to have done. I’m sure you’d appreciate that philosophy.” “I didn’t ask you to save me!” Crow stood up, but Loret was still the intimidating one here. “Would you rather I’d let you die?” “That’s what you did for the rest of my family!” The wrong thing to say. Guilt and anger bubbled between Loret’s lips, and the red backlight behind her gray eyes made a bloodstained pink glow. “Don’t make me change my mind.” she growled. Fear hit Crow, forced him to step back. Loret looked away, to her sleeping brother, and breathed. “I’m not leaving him behind.” she said, and when she turned her eyes weren’t luminescing. “You understand?” Crow stared, and waited for the fear to leave him before he nodded. He sat back down beside her. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have…” “No.” Loret said, blinking. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I wish I could have done more.” “It’s not your fault.” Crow said, but the look Loret gave him made him think maybe she didn’t believe him. She looked back to Az. “You may be right, about the lying thing. He doesn’t need to… understand, all of this, just yet.” Crow nodded. “I just don’t want anyone else to get hurt.” There was warmth in the elf’s eyes, and not the magical kind. “I know. We’ll tell him later. When he’s older.” “If we make it that far.” Crow scoffed. “We will.” Loret said, and when Crow looked down, she had taken his hand. “I promise. We’re almost there.” ' ' Crow and Az’s relationship, despite what their current one implies, did not start out well. In the grand epic that was Crow and Loret’s story, Crow couldn’t find a place for the little Az. He was young, and he asked a lot of questions, and cried, and was a danger to their escape. And Az, for his own part, wasn’t quite sure he liked this new and angry companion. Brother or not, he was scary, and often made Loret unhappy, which was the antithesis of all that was good. Loret had to fight for the three of them to stay together at all, despite Crow’s junkyard declaration of siblinghood. She fought to keep Crow’s trust, after what she’d almost done to his family. And she fought to keep Az calm, despite the confusion and discomfort of their flight. But Loret was good at fighting- she always had been. Az was a feisty child; had been since birth. Crow was three times his age, but that didn’t stop Az from getting into a kicking match every time he yelled at Loret, or stole the last scrap of bread. A youngest sibling always knew how to play dirty; Loret was unfortunate enough to be travelling with two of them. They’d been on the run for two years, never quite out of the the fleeting eye of their attackers. They kept moving, aimlessly, never safe enough to settle. Loret and Crow’s relationship settled, and then grew up again, and their love provided complications along with joys. Az began to understand what was going on, though never completely. Nonetheless, there was beginning to be a rhythm to their movement that was almost comfortable- if only her two “brother”s would stop fighting. Crow had taught Loret that there were kind souls, behind the least likely of faces. It was at the home of one of those places that they’d been staying, for the last two days. An old shopkeeping couple who offered them safety and food and quite a bit more, that Loret was unable and unwilling to accept. Her avenging party was still on their tail; she needed to find their next hovel. “I’m going out.” Loret, cloaked, said. “Where?” said Az and Crow in unison. “Apparently there’s a Lang ambassadorship at the palace tonight. I’m doing some recon.” “Loret, it’s too dangerous!” She shrugged, putting her hood up. “I’ll be fine.” “Let me come with you.” that was Crow, standing to follow. She gestured him down. “No. They’d recognize you.” “And not you?” “Nope.” Loret said, and with a grin her face morphed magically into that of a pale white human, boyish and youthful. “Besides, I need you to hold down the base. Keep an eye on Az.” Crow scowled, but sat back down. Az looked briefly at him, and then back to Loret. “You’re coming home, right?” Loret smiled, and patted Az’s head. “Of course, love. I’ll be back before you know it.” Az nodded, and gave her a little wave. “Don’t do anything stupid while I’m gone.” she said, going to the doorway. “Same to you.” Crow replied, but she was already gone. ' ' “You’re old enough to watch yourself, really.” Crow grumbled. Az looked up from the children’s book that this week’s hosts had lent him. “You’re right.” Crowed glared at him, then back at the door. “Don’t know why she thinks I’ll be any good with you, anyway.” “Go after her, then.” Az said, back in his book. “Maybe I will.” “Do it.” Az sneered. “She’ll kill you.” “No, she won’t.” Crow said. “She likes me.” “No she doesn’t. You’re stupid, and you can’t fight.” “Maybe I’ll just take you out first.” Crow growled at him. “Then she can’t make me babysit.” Az looked up, found Crow’s beady brown eyes. Very calmly, he closed his book, set it behind him, and went for Crow’s throat. The tussel went longer than you’d think; Az was agile, and unafraid to play dirty. But Crow still had the advantage, and got Az pinned. “How do you do that?” Crow expression morphed into confusion; that wasn’t what he’d expected to hear from a beat-up 7-year-old with his arm pinned behind his back. “Do what?” Az wiggled him arm as much as he could, wincing. “The pinning thing.” Crow released Az, leaning back a bit. “It’s an arm bar. Every half-decent wrestler knows it.” “Show me.” Az said, and to Crow’s surprise held out his arm for another beating. “You just-” and Az didn’t move when Crow pinned him again, not until Crow started to release him. Then he lunged, and tried to copy the same move on the larger boy. And almost succeeded- he’d caught Crow off guard. There proceeded a much calmer, and odder, wrestling match, that started with corrections and sore arms, and ended with giggling and improbably tangled limbs. By the end of it, Az had one of Crow’s arms pinned using three limbs, both boys’ hair was tangled and messy, and they were out of breath from laughter as much as exercise. “You have to show me all of it.” Az said. “The boxing stuff, too.” Crow raised his eyebrows, but his smile was tilted up, not down. “All of it?” “I gotta be able to fight like you.” Az said. “I don’t wanna be left behind.” Crow disentangled himself, with some effort. “Well, you’ve got a lot to learn, kid.” But he was smiling. ' ' “Can I get you anything, dear? Some hot cocoa?” The shopkeeper bent over to Loret with concern. She was back in her own face, hood down, listening beside the door to her brothers’ room. “No, thank you.” “Everything alright in there?” he gestured to their room. As though from a reverie, Loret stood and brushed herself off. “Yeah, everything’s fine.” “You’re not going out, are you?” he said, looking worriedly over her cloak. “It’s awful cold.” “... No, no, I’m not.” Loret said. “Just giving those two some alone time.” The shopkeeper nodded, warmly. He’d never had children himself, but he thought he understood them well enough. “Actually, you know what?” Loret said, and let a smile grace her lips. “Maybe I will take you up on that cocoa.” Their host lit up, and Loret followed him downstairs for the rest of the night. ' ' Crow didn’t cry, when Loret died. He never got a chance to. He held her brother, hands pressed against lips and body against all the fury and grief pouring out of those little limbs and teeth. The assassins dragged Loret’s (his) body down the stairs, and Crow and her brother escaped out the window, clamoring down one-handed to contain the brother’s screams. Crow ran, mindless, and he was two miles away before he finally collapsed. Az kicked him in the side, and he didn’t even feel it. “What are you doing?!” the little paladin shouted. “We have to go back!” Az tried to storm away; Crow grabbed his ankle. “She’s back there! We have to-” Az’s voice was starting to shake. “We can’t.” Crow said. “Let go!” Az wrenched his leg free- Crow was too weak to fight. “We have to save her!” “She’s gone.” Crow whispered, but Az wasn’t listening. “They have her, Crow, we have to go back for h-” “She’s gone!” shouted Crow, and it was at Az, but it was at the whole world too, at all six cursed gatekeepers and their awful cruel whims. Az’s whole body quivered, and his fists balled, and the tears rose up endlessly behind little eyes. Az choked, and collapsed, and sobbed for what felt like an eternity. Some instinct that Crow had never felt rose, and he clutched Az’s little form to his chest, and between the two of them was all the sorrow of a century. “I’m going to kill them.” Az seethed, shaking with rage as well as grief. “Every one of those horrible Lang. I’m going to kill them all.” It wasn’t just words; it never was, with Az. Already he was rising from Crow’s arms, determined to start his vengeance right then and there. And there was a huge part of Crow that agreed so fucking much with his “brother”, and would have ran off to take down as many of Loret’s killers as they could, before Lang caught them and finished their job. But there was Loret in his eye, mouthing furious last words. She’d sacrificed herself for them lives, leaving only that one instruction. Crow held Az back, gentle. “Not yet.” he whispered. “Not yet. She wanted us to live.” Az’s tear-streaked eyes found Crow, blinked twice, and nodded. He reached both arms up (a gesture Crow had only ever seen him to do his sister), and Crow picked up him, and left this awful city behind. ' ' Memory is a fickle thing, especially for the young. Loret had been with Az practically since birth, and she had been his only light, the epitome of ‘good’ and ‘right’. That kind of black-and-white attitude is common in children, until they grow up and see their idols from behind, and realize that they are just people too. But Az never got the chance to grow up with his sister. He never saw the sides of her an adult would see, never even imagined they could exist. She left him as the sun, and her death embalmed her forever in perfection. Crow, he got to gain height and perspective on. His brother was far from Loret’s perfection; but they both agreed that that was an unreachable goal. Az and Crow fought, and they grew, and while Crow was a poor replacement for their sister, he tried anyway. And in the blurred eyes of the young paladin, the two siblings merged, and it was impossible not to love Crow. Crow was his brother, and Loret’s too, and though he was faillable he was enough. Quickly, Az began to love him just as strongly as he’d once hated him. By the time they were grown, Crow had risen to his place in the heaven’s in Az’s mind, the living moon to Loret’s eternal sun. ' ' Crow never was quite sure when Az started to like him. Az had hated him after That Night, with the aimless fury that one has for the entire world after a great loss. It was at some point over those next two years that they found each other’s love, and clung to it like a lifeline. Not that Crow would ever say that, of course. That wasn’t to say that their time in House Citadel was always peachy. At first Az still hated Crow any time he left, and there was a strange tension between Crow and Blossari and Madurisis, even after Az adopted them. Az grew, and learned, and found a way to put the vengeance of life in its place so that there would be room to love the rest of life. Crow recognized how little he belonged in Az’s life, and kept his distance from the Watcher’s tower, insisting that was what was best for Az. It was his Guardian days, and Az was beginning to gain the attention that matched his confidence. He’d been called for a private meeting, and while most soldiers of his position would have been scared by this (indeed, Heirad was terrified for Az), Az had no doubt that it would be a good thing. He didn’t recognize the fellow in the room he entered. They certainly weren’t one of Az’s direct superiors, though the office they’d set up in was. The insignia on their lapel implied high rank, however, so Az gave an appropriately deep bow when he came in. The movement drew their attention away from the papers on their desk. “Guardian Azura?” “Az.” he corrected instinctively. Then, with a respectful nod, “But yes, ser.” They nodded, and wrote something on one of their documents. Judging by the quantity of said documents, and the neutrality of their uniform, they were the type of ambassadorial official who answered to no faction but the royals. The liaison type, with all the wisdom and none of the experience. No honor in those indoor jobs- but they were essential nonetheless, so Az could respect them, if not admire them “We’re sending you to House Roderick.” they said. “With Commander Servosis.” “Yes, ser.” Az nodded, but, no, that look said they didn’t care to be interrupted. “There’s an assembly of Blade Guardians there, to which we are officially invited. But more importantly, there’s a suspect Mattaki general in attendance that we’ve been investigating. We’ll be sending a Watcher with you, to perform some reconnaissance. Your role will be to support Commander Servosis at the assembly, as well as your Watcher in their own endeavors. Without informing the Assembly that the Watcher is present. Do you understand?” Az nodded. “How many in our party?” “Just you three.” the official said. “We thought it best to keep our delegation discrete.” Az wondered, but didn’t ask, why he had been selected. Likely any official answer would be about leaving the Chosen in charge for training, and the importance of a fresh face, but. Even if this official didn’t, Az knew that his selection was a commendation. “If I may, ser.” Az said, emboldened. “I’d like to make a request.” The official gestured. “Speak.” “I have a suggestion as to the identity of the Watcher agent.” The official gave Az their full attention for the first time, confusion in their eyes. “You have a preference?” It was a wild shot in the dark, but... “Crow, ser.” The official tilted their head. “You know Advanced Watcher Crow?” Az gave a little bow. “We worked together in the past. I believe we’d make an excellent team.” The official blinked. “We’d already had a Watcher in mind, but if the Advanced Watcher would prefer…” “Ask him, please.” “Very well.” the official said. “You leave the day after tomorrow. Any other questions?” “No, ser.” The official looked up for a moment, and the admiration in their eyes was the closest to human emotion Az had seen yet. “Good. Dismissed.” ' ' “Crow!” At this rank, he didn’t have his own office, but instead shared space with the rest of his squadron on one floor of the tower. The nice thing about having your HQ in a tower, however, was the capacity for nooks. It took Crow half a day to build a nest, twenty feet up, and it was from there that Excaliasis saw two beady eyes peering back at her, behind a pointed mask. “Emotion’s erection, Crow, take that shit off!” Excaliasis shuddered- she never quite had gotten used to that hood. “What do you want?” came Crow’s muted voice, having not complied. “Request from the Communications office. Apparently they want you for a mission.” There was movement above her, and Excaliasis saw two lanky legs start to swing down. “What’s the mission? I haven’t heard about it.” “Come down, and I’ll tell you.” Excaliasis shouted. When Crow didn’t do so, she sighed, and continued. “They want to know if you want to go to House Roderick, after Vikkirnam.” “If I want to?” Crow scoffed. “Apparently they were going to send a regular Watcher, but some guy from the Blade Guard requested you.” Suddenly Crow was on the ground before her, like the twenty-foot drop had been nothing. Excalaisis didn’t jump, not after how long she’d known him. “The Blade Guard?” Excalaisis nodded, and now that he was down offered the rolled-up mission dossier to him. He ignored her. “It’s a joint mission. They’re using the Assembly as a cover.” “Who requested me?” “This upstart Guardian. Out of his league, really.” Crow removed his masked hood, revealing the elegant features beneath. “Dark, bulky guy? Curly hair? Looks like he should be selling pastries in a bookstore cafe?” Excalaisis tilted her head at him. “You know General Az?” “No.” Crow said, and snatched the dossier from her hand. “When do we leave?” “Tomorrow morning.” Excaliasis said. “Does that mean you’re going?” Crow was halfway back up to his nest; he turned back, bird-beaked and shadowed. “I’ll be there.” ' ' House Roderick was less than a day’s travel away, so the three left only the day before the assembly, early in the morning. Az sent Ceres to the drop point- let him figure out whatever horsey diplomacy that would require- and slept in until three minutes before their meeting. He was already packed; he threw on a travelling uniform and disposable heart-earrings, and hurried off. He met Commander Servosis in the halls, and two respectful nods were the only introduction they needed. Ceres had replaced both horses on the carriage; if Servosis noticed, he didn’t say anything. Az was starting to put his bag away when a figure stepped from behind the carriage, and Az instinctively almost threw the bag at them. “Ah, apologies!” said the figure, a young helf in Watcher uniform. Perhaps Az’s request hadn’t gone through, then. “Didn’t mean to startle.” “Lord Secare!” Servosis said, coming to shake the man’s hand warmly. Az knew the name- Crow’s boss. “Didn’t expect to see you this morning.” “I came to send off my Watcher.” Secare said. He peered distantly at cathedral Time’s clock tower, and shook his head. “But it appears he’s a little late.” There was a soft thud, behind Az. He turned, and there was Crow, crouched on the ground below a second-floor window. His bird-beaked hood was down, feathered cloak still floating down with a second’s delay. Az found brown eyes below the mask, and they both took up power stances, and for a moment there was silence. “Az.” Crow said. “Cranthony.” Az said, and braced himself. Straight from the crouch, Crow came at him. With blinding speed he was on top of Az, wrestling him to the ground, and immediately they were a mass of limbs and grunts. “General!” Servosis reprimanded, sharply. Az briefly got Crow’s arm pinned; he looked up to smile at Servosis. Then Crow’s other palm came up, and he dodge-rolled, and the competition was back on. “Men, men!” that was Secare, deft hands pulling at Crow while he had Az on the ground. “Break it up!” Secare held Crow back; Servosis stood disapprovingly beside Az. “Pansy.” Crow smirked. “Bird brain.” “Twink.” Crow disentangled from Secare, who along with Servosis were looking between their charges with confusion. Az’s grin was infectious. When he came at Crow again, neither Watcher stopped the bear hug he grabbed him in. “How the fuck are you?” Crow elbowed his way out of the embrace. “Fine. Need some fucking tea.” “Tell me about it.” Az agreed. “Wasn’t sure you were gonna make it, honestly.” “I’m surprised you even made it out of bed, kid.” “Do you two know each other?” that was poor Secare, whose “completely at a loss” expression wasn’t nearly as well-obscured as Servosis’s. “No.” the brothers said in unison, then looked at each other and laughed. “Az.” Servosis said slowly. “This wouldn’t happen to be your fabled brother, would it?” Crow gave Az an overdone look of disapproval. Az shrugged cheerily, and gave his commander a short, respectful, nod. “Crow, you have a brother?” Secare asked, almost scandalized. “How did I not know about this?” Crow shrugged. “I don’t know. You’re the High Watcher, not me.” Az snorted, then remembered himself, and gave a half-bow of apology to Lord Secare. “Now.” Crow said, ignoring the two extraordinarily superior nobles and heading to the carriage. “Are we getting this mission started, or what?”